Y
Monday, January 08, 2007
dark and twisted kate
kate - the "never a dull moment" girl who never runs out of optimism...
would it hurt you people if i become pessimistic for once?
"all men are created unequal."
i am not a buddhist, nor am i a hindu, but i agree that life is unfair. i may have done something really wrong in my past life to make me live this kind of life right now. i am blessed. that's what people say. that was what i used to say. that was what they made me believe until high expectations were set and signs of appreciation became extinct. mabigat sa bahay. probably the reason why i often find myself spending alone time inside my room either feeling bad or appreciating my self - a pathetic way of compensation, a pathetic way of using defense mechanisms just to maintain whatever personality i have. but i have to deal with it. i have to deal with every thing alone. my mom, my best friend could not afford to get to talk to me and hear my sentiments every day. so i have to deal with every single thing alone. when i entered college, my mind was filled with thoughts, happy and hopeful thoughts. i had the belief that i was special. i could make a difference. i supposedly had a purpose. but right now, i hate to admit it, but i guess people were right. i am dark and twisted. i never agreed with those people who compared me to meredith grey. but right now, i guess i am meredith grey. i am dark and twisted. i could no longer remember the day when my life still had a direction. i took a lot of wrong turns. and right now i am lost. i used to achieve. i used to be the one. i used to live a happy and contented life. i used to be the honor student, the editor-in-chief, the goddess of extra-curricular activities, the daughter of proud parents, the loving girlfriend all at the same time. but right now? who am i?i am the quitter. the mediocre. the dark and twisted girl who could not even pass a chem exam. the girl who wasn't wable to fight back. the hopeless case. the girl who lost every single strand of motivation. the unappreciated girl. the girl who could not see a bright future 10 or 20 years from now.
siguro nga kung hindi lang ako natatakot na mapunta sa hell, talagang matagal ko na ginawa.
sorry. just allow me to have issues of my own.
let's go to the star. BE ONE TOO! at 7:43 AM
0 -wishes
kathrina chriselle m. coderes
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