shit...
i do not really know if i actually made a mistake when i said those things to you after you asked me:
1. who i love
2. am i not happy when i am with you

I really am confused.
i do not know if:
1. i am once again in love with you
2. i never ceased to love you
3. i am just in love with the fact that i want to be in love.

right now, i feel like i am being squeezed by different emotions running around my very small heart. am i supposed to burst all these out? or should i wait for the right time?
but when will be the right time?
damn!!!

you don't know how hurt i am...i just can't put everything into words...i feel that all the things i say are understatements.
i am scared i really am..maybe because i am scarred too...
i like you..i really do...i have always liked you...
and i know that you know that...

it's not that i am not happy when i'm with you...
i really am happy...
in fact, i am the proudest person whenever i am with you...(though you're not even cute..hehe)
it's just that my happiness is short-lived because i know that after spending time together, that'd be it...
i do not own you and i know that i do not have any right to do so...
it hurts to accept that fact...
after spending time together, ano na?
wala...
we're not even allowed to tell people that we spent time together...
that hurts!

when i'm with you, i really am happy...definitely happy
it's just that i can't help but feel the pain, no matter how hard i try to prevent myself from feeling it...

ang hirap nito..

ang hirap ng casualan lang.

sa'yo malamang wala lang 'to...

pero di mo lang alam, sobra na akong nasasakatan...

but as much as i want to put a stop to all these rubbish things, i just can't

because i do not want to lose the single string that binds us...

ayoko ka pa mawala...

wag muna.

i guess i just have to be contented with what we have...