i changed my mind.
ok. so let's talk about losing more than a thousand bucks, my starbucks card, my atm and my student license. why do people do something not good to other people? all this time, i made myself believe that every person has a natural good. and what happened last tuesday made me realy really paranoid. i placed my wallet in front of my bag for the first time. and that one time when i felt lazy to keep it taught me a really painful lesson. losing...i felt really guilty because i knew that my parents worked hard for every single centavo they gave me. and so, when my mom was telling me to calm down and stop crying, i cried even more. it was not technically not my fault but guilt is definitely killing me...up to now

losing..
losing something is really painful..but losing someone is far more painful. and that's the reason why i am afraid to once again fall in love. for me, losing is loving's conditioned stimulus. and so i don't want to fall for you yet. not now.