i have received chocolates. i have received love letters. i have received tons of bears. all of them from the countless men that i had come across in the 17 years of my life. all of them from the different men who left marks in my life. but there is this one gift that i have always wanted to receive...flowers. real ones. not the same old plastic rose that i usually receive from some of my friends during valentine's day. or the single plastic flower i have received from a guy when i was in grade school that was supposed to be a required valentine's present to our assigned valentines. miserable and sad. it would be hard for me to enumerate every guy that left a mark in my life. so here is how it goes, after being hurt and disappointed for a lot of times, i have finally made a deal with myself. call me a hopeless romantic but i have finally made myself believe that only the real guy would have the right to give me flowers. it would be him. he would be the first one to give me flowers. all the men who came into my life did not believe in the power of flowers to a woman, or let's say to me. but guys, i may be one of the boys most of the time, but i also want flowers! i am also romantic. so to you, please please give me flowers!please please! there was this one guy who had plans to give me a bouquet. he told me such after i broke his heart. assuming that he was not making me feel miserable and that he was telling the truth, i did not feel anything. that was because he was not the one. he tried to court me several times but i was too in love with one of his friends. i felt nothing for him. i never wanted to make him feel that i liked him but people were saying that i should give him a chance. or worse, my own best friend was forcing me. the guy i used to love was also teasing me. so let's just say that i gave him his much wanted chance. but what was expected happened. in just a few days, i broke his heart. i just could not love him the same way i loved his friend who was really a jerk. he was a certified jerk but i loved him for more than a year. guy A was a much better person than the one i used to love. but it wasn't him. i could not imagine growing old with him. he wasn't my prince chrming, my knight in shining armor. he was supposed to give me flowers. but even if he did, i could not accept them. flowers ahould be given to someone who is deserving. and i do not deserve to receive flowers from him. he never gave flowers to anyone too. if ever, i was his first. but i do not deserve to be his first. "first times" should be really special and memorable. i don't want us to remember bitter memories whenever we think about our first "involvement" with flowers. it's just not fair. so right now, i am waiting, still waiting for the right one, my prince, my knight in shining armor to say my name and give me my first bouquet of real and fresh flowers. i will never get tired of waiting until i see him: charming, dashing, all smiles and carrying my first bouquet of flowers...

and to you, good luck. i hope you find the girl who deserves to receive your first bouquet.