sorry...i know everything was my fault. i never really meant to hurt you. i know that you know that i am not the type of person who finds it easy to say no. i just could not say no. i have now realized that it is really hard to try to please everyone. i cannot plase everyone by just saying yes. my yes could even hurt someone.
i know that my life is an open book. i always tell people everything about me. i kept you a secret. i never keep secrets but i kept you as one. only a few people knoew what happened between us, between that short moment. he knew. he, of all people, knew.
i did what i did last night because i just could not take it anymore. love taught me a lot of lessons. i don't want my next experience to be the same as the ones i had before. let's just say that i am really afraid to take risks now. i wanna be really really serious the next time i fall in love. and i'm sorry, i just can't deny the fact that i still have feelings for him.

but as i have said, i am trying here. i just can't get it. why don't you want me to stick to my answer. are my words not enough? are the words, "sige subukan natin" not enough to show that i am willing? just let me be. let's start all over again. i want this to be different from the others. but as for now, let me think. let me breathe. let me be sure. let me move on. let me mean every single word i say. let my "i love yous" be for real. let my sweetness come back. just wait.